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Magus said, “There are proper and improper ways to deal with a wife’s first ruined meal. The proper way is to tell her that it reminds you of a dish served to honored visitors by the Bingo tribe of the south Amazon basin. The improper way to deal with the meal is to ask if she was intentionally trying to poison you.”“Never let your wife learn that you took a failed meal to a laboratory to be tested for the presence of poison. It leads to strained dinner conversations ... particularly when you try to get an explanation as to why the meal loaf contained arsenic,” Oscar said.“Why did it?” Stephen asked.“I never did figure that one out,” Oscar said while scratching his cheek. “My wife and I had such interesting meals after I returned from my eleventh two year expedition to locate the lost Aztec city of gold.”Looking around the vestibule of the church, Leland asked, “Where is Mom?”“I don’t know. I came back from my twelfth expedition to locate the lost Aztec city of gold and she was gone,”. However, I knew that I could accommodate a beer bottle. I went into what passed for a kitchen and fetched a Bud, which I lubed with butter. Back in the bedroom I lay on the bed and worked the bottle into my pussy. Yes I know it would have been much easier if I had started with the narrow end or if someone else was working it in. But I wasn't about to ask anyone else to bottle fuck me and I wanted a spectacular photo.It hurt like hell and took a lot of doing, but finally the base popped inside and the rest slid in with ease, right up to the neck. I lay back, exhausted, with tears streaming down my cheeks, but I had done it, right up to the fucking neck. It was difficult getting out of bed and waddling over to the camera to set the timer, but I did it a dozen times. I even managed to change the roll with the bottle shoved right up inside me. In the end I had a wonderful set of photos. Some with the bottle right inside me, some with it partially out, some with only the base inside me.
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